I write this as I lay on my couch on New Year’s Day. I feel like this is the time when most people are thinking about their resolutions and plans for the next trip around the sun or maybe tweeting about how the next year is gonna be the year they snap their lifelong streak of Ls. I am not, because I am thinking about why the beginning of the year causes this strange effect. The end of a year makes people reflective in a way that would be considered a midlife crisis if you did it on any of the 363 other days besides the first day or the last day of any given year. It seems a little bit irrational. I am glad, however, that people take the cue from the calendar and think about what they want to change about themselves and what they want to improve over the next year. I would recommend doing this kind of self analysis more than once a year, but hey, that’s me. But enough giving out free advice, I need to discuss something important that has been stuck in my craw for a long time.
New Year’s Resolutions irk me in general because I don’t get why people feel a sense of obligation to improve themselves only at the beginning of a new calendar year. Self improvement is vital in my mind unless you are already where you want to be in life. Once you get there, just coast and maintain, but up until that point, you should always be thinking about ways to advance yourself closer towards your end goals. But aside from that, even if you take that as a time to begin working towards a goal, it often fails within a month or two (proven by the fact that gyms across America stops being nearly as crowded around February or maybe March every year). Why is the calendar changing years enough motivation? It isn’t for a lot of people, at least in the long term, and so that is why it is so curious to me that this enthusiasm for self betterment becomes so powerful at the beginning of the year every year. People try to change overnight just because it is a new year, which doesn’t make any sense. That’s like waiting until your birthday to act more mature every year. Stop trying to fit in with everybody else and making a resolution just because the date happens to be January 1st, you can do better than that. Tell everybody else to quit faking it and come up with a resolution on October 5th if you really wanna impress people or have me believe that you actually mean it. Also, if you say “well, I didn’t accomplish my resolution from last year, so I have the same one this year,” you are insane. Repeating the same thing and expecting different results is apparently the definition of insanity if you listen to people who say that quote all the time. Or maybe you just bit off more than you could chew, in which case, you might need to get better time management skills. If that’s your excuse, make learning time management your resolution for this year, you bum.
OK, I think I just caught the New Year’s Effect mid-blog. Enough slandering the good people who make resolutions, I have decided to give this personal accountability thing a try. Time to make some of my own resolutions for the next year. In 2018, A Scary Place To Be will win an award of some kind. Second, A Scary Place To Be will become widely downloaded (even moreso than it already is *sunglasses emoji* shout out to my fans in Europe and South America). Third, I will move to Seattle by the end of summer. Fourth, I will be a CPA by the end of the year. Fifth, I will have a little bit more peace of mind. Hold me to those, and make fun of me if I do not accomplish every single one of those goals. Comment some of your resolutions on this blog post and we will check back with each other at the end of the year to roast anyone who hasn’t reached their goals yet. Best of luck this year, unless you don’t listen to us, in which case you’re already fucked.
P.S. My sixth goal is to help Jamike reach even a mediocre level of podcasting skills, but I saved it for down here because I don’t think even I can accomplish that and I am hoping nobody reads down this far so I can escape roasting if I fail on this goal.